The Self-Coaching Club: Turn your ”Inner Bully” into a Trusted Ally

🩷 SHOW NOTES
You’re Allowed to Change Your Mind
Have you ever continued with something mostly because you'd already told everyone you were going to do it?
Changing our minds can feel like failure—but sometimes it's simply evidence that we've learned something.
In this episode of The Self-Coaching Club Podcast, we're talking about giving ourselves permission to reconsider decisions, goals, plans, and even things we once felt certain we wanted.
Changing your mind doesn't necessarily mean the original choice was wrong. Sometimes you've simply gained information you couldn't have had before.
This Week's Self-Coaching Questions
If you're reconsidering something, ask:
If nobody else knew about my original decision, what would I choose now?
Am I changing my mind because this is uncomfortable—or because something has genuinely changed?
What do I know now that I didn't know then?
Then take it to God and ask for clarity—not simply confirmation.
A Thought to Carry With You
You don't have to criticize who you were in order to honor who you're becoming.
You're allowed to learn.
You're allowed to grow.
And you're allowed to choose again. 🩷

🩷 SHOW NOTES
Maybe You Don’t Need to Figure It Out Yet
What if the reason you can't figure something out is simply because there isn't enough information yet?
We often believe peace will come once we have the answer, make the decision, understand what happened, or know how everything is going to turn out.
But emotional peace doesn't require certainty.
In this episode of The Self-Coaching Club Podcast, we're exploring what it looks like to live well in the space between the question and the answer—and how to recognize when thoughtful reflection has quietly turned into rumination.
We'll talk about:
The difference between reflection and rumination
Why uncertainty can create such a sense of urgency
Discernment versus anxiety-driven overthinking
The deeper connection between uncertainty and self-trust
Why faith doesn't always give us certainty
Making decisions with the information we have today
When action creates clarity
When waiting actually is the next right step
How to separate facts from assumptions
Trusting God when the whole path isn't visible
🌿 Try This: Know, Don't Know, Next
Choose one situation you're currently trying to figure out and divide a journal page into three sections:
WHAT I KNOWWrite only the facts.
WHAT I DON'T KNOWName the things your mind keeps trying to predict or solve that aren't actually knowable yet.
MY NEXT STEPIdentify one thing that's yours to do now—or give yourself permission to wait if there genuinely isn't one yet.
Then ask:
What would change if I believed I didn't have to know yet?
A Thought to Carry With You
You don't have to solve tomorrow to experience peace today. You don't need the whole map. You need enough light for the next faithful step. 🩷

SHOW NOTES
Speak to Yourself Like Someone You’re Responsible For
Self-Compassion Isn’t Self-Indulgence
Why is it so easy to extend grace to everyone else—and so difficult to offer that same grace to ourselves?
In this episode of The Self-Coaching Club, we're talking about self-compassion as an emotional regulation skill and why shame isn't nearly as effective a motivator as we sometimes think it is.
Self-compassion doesn't mean ignoring mistakes, making excuses, or lowering your standards. It means learning to tell yourself the truth without turning every mistake into an indictment of who you are.
We explore the difference between accountability and shame, why “I should know better by now” can keep us stuck, how faith and grace influence the way we speak to ourselves, and a simple four-step practice for responding differently when you disappoint yourself.
In this episode:
Why being hard on yourself isn't necessarily the same as holding yourself accountable
How shame cycles can actually interfere with change
The difference between “I made a mistake” and “I am a failure”
Why knowing better doesn't always mean we'll immediately do better
How self-compassion and personal responsibility can coexist
A faith-centered perspective on grace, conviction, and growth
Four practical steps for compassionate self-coaching
This Week's Self-Coaching Questions
When you notice yourself becoming critical after a mistake, ask:
What happened?
What am I feeling?
What do I need to take responsibility for?
What would compassion look like here?
What would I like to do differently next time?
You don't have to shame yourself into becoming someone better.
Sometimes lasting change begins when you learn to tell yourself the truth—with grace.

Show Notes
Episode Title
You Don't Have to Act on Every Feeling: Learning the Skill of Urge Surfing
Our emotions are valuable, but they aren't meant to make every decision for us.
In this episode, we're exploring the emotional regulation skill known as urge surfing—the practice of noticing uncomfortable impulses without immediately acting on them. You'll learn why emotions naturally rise and fall like waves, how curiosity creates space between a feeling and a reaction, and three simple self-coaching questions that can help you respond with greater wisdom and peace.
In this episode you'll learn:
What urge surfing is and why it works
Why emotions often feel urgent (even when they aren't)
How to identify what's underneath your strongest impulses
Three practical questions to help you pause before reacting
A faith-centered perspective on responding rather than reacting
This Week's Self-Coaching Challenge
The next time you notice a strong emotional urge, pause and ask:
What am I feeling?
What story am I telling myself?
What do I really need right now?
Then wait just a few minutes before deciding what to do.
You may discover that the wave begins to settle all on its own.

Show Notes
🎙️ Episode 103: The Power of Curiosity – The Questions That Can Change Your Life
Have you ever noticed how quickly your mind fills in the blanks after something happens?
A text goes unanswered.Someone seems distant.A conversation feels awkward.
Before we know it, we've written an entire story—and we often believe it's the only possible explanation.
In this episode, we're exploring how curiosity can interrupt that pattern and become one of the most powerful tools in self-coaching. By learning to pause, ask better questions, and create space between what happens and the story we tell ourselves, we can respond with greater wisdom, emotional peace, and compassion.
In this episode, we'll explore:
Why our brains rush to create meaning
The difference between assumptions and reality
How curiosity reduces emotional reactivity
Powerful self-coaching questions to ask yourself
How curiosity strengthens relationships
A simple practice you can begin using today
Questions to reflect on this week:
What story am I telling myself?
What evidence do I actually have?
What else could be true?
What am I feeling beneath the surface?
Is this situation reminding me of something older?
What would peace ask me right now?
✨ This week's encouragement:
Curiosity doesn't mean doubting yourself—it means giving yourself enough grace to explore before you decide. Sometimes the path to emotional peace begins with one simple question instead of one quick conclusion.

For more resources and coaching opportunities, visit www.mercyrice.com
 

For more inner work and emotional peace resources, please visit www.mercyrice.com
 

Episode 100: Becoming
🎉 We made it! Episode 100!
It's hard to put into words what this milestone means. When I recorded the very first episode, I simply hoped these conversations would encourage someone. I never imagined how much they would change me too.
In this special episode, I'm reflecting on the lessons God has gently taught me over the past one hundred conversations about self-coaching, emotional wellness, and becoming the person He created us to be.
This isn't a list of one hundred tips.
It's an honest conversation about growth that often happens quietly—in ordinary moments, ordinary days, and through God's extraordinary grace.
Together we'll explore:
Why you don't have to believe every thought you think
How curiosity creates more growth than self-criticism
Why your emotions are messengers, not managers
The freedom that comes from letting God set the pace for your healing
One simple question that may change the way you look at your own journey: Who have I become?
Whether you've been listening since Episode 1 or this is your very first conversation with me, I'm so grateful you're here.
Thank you for allowing me to walk alongside you through seasons of joy, grief, healing, growth, and hope. It has truly been one of the greatest privileges of my life.
As we celebrate one hundred episodes together, my prayer is that you'll pause long enough to recognize just how faithful God has been—and how much you've grown, even in ways you may not have noticed.
Remember...
You don't have to become someone else.
You simply have to keep becoming the person God has been lovingly shaping all along.
Thank you for being part of these first one hundred conversations.
Here's to the next one hundred.
Reflection Question
Who have you become over the last season of your life?
Instead of focusing on everything you still want to accomplish, take a few quiet moments to celebrate the ways God has been growing your heart.
If this episode encouraged you, I'd love for you to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use a little encouragement today.
Until next time...
Take good care of your heart. 💗
Mercy